Month: January 2012

Fireproof

Today, I found myself again not knowing what to do. So I prayed for guidance and called my parents. We had a long talk about many things. I followed it up with research. Which somehow led me to the movie Fireproof. I remembered having it on my hard drive a long time ago. I checked and it’s still there! And so I watched.

It was uncanny, the similarity to my situation. You could change the names and certain details and it would be like it is about Michelle and me. There are many things to learn from the movie. But the top three for me are:

  1. Change begins with us. If we must wait for others to change before we do, then we can’t answer the question: When will they change? And maybe we never will. But if we take it upon ourselves to change, we can, we can do so now.
  2. Love is unconditional. We should not look for reciprocation. We should not stop loving because of rejection, or perceived rejection. The love of Jesus is for everyone, he gave his life for everyone, for those who accepts Him and those who rejects Him. So must we. I love Jeanne unconditionally but I was blind to the fact that I should love Michelle the same way.
  3. Marriage is a covenant. During the wedding, I vowed to be true to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. To love her and honor her all the days of my life. It is how God intended it to be. And by making my vow, I made a commitment to her and to God. As soon as I saw this, I put back my wedding ring on and I resolved that though I have stumbled, I will pick myself up and I will strive towards how He intends it to be.

Fireproof is highly-recommended watch for everyone. Through it, God provided me guidance. I’m sure it will do the same for others, too.

Drive

When I started on Drive, I was expecting a standard fare Hollywood action movie. Then I saw on the starting credits that it was directed by Nicolas Winding Refn and I immediately reset my expectations. I’ve seen one of Refn’s previous works Valhalla Rising. It was a good film with a real story to tell, good acting, unconventional direction, and bloody. But it was not easy to watch. So I expected the same for Drive.

Surprisingly, it was actually way easier to watch. It was almost mainstream. But Refn’s touch is quite visible: novel camera angles, tense periods of silence and motionlessness, short and quick (but very bloody) fights. The car scenes are not stylized like in say Fast Five but they are nevertheless very kinetic and adrenaline-pumping.

Gosling is simple the driver: He’s a stunt driver and getaway driver. He also works as a mechanic at a garage. He befriended a neighbor and her kid and later became close. The neighbor’s husband returns from prison but soon got into trouble with some people that he owes money to. To help, the driver acted as a getaway driver for the husband in a heist that went awry.

As the driver puzzled out the pieces, it turned out that the heist was a setup by none other than the partner of the friend and new partner of the employer of the driver. Complicated huh? This is definitely not a no-brainer action movie. So more people got offed in the  most brutal manner, until finally the driver wrapped things up by killing off the last villain and leaving everything behind.

New Year Resolutions

It’s a new year, relatively speaking, and it’s time to review my past year’s resolutions:

  1. Learn iPhone programming. Review: I started on Objective-C and got the basics. Continued with Flex for Mobile. Released my first app.
  2. Declutter, or attempt to, the house. I’ll need two shelves for starters.
  3. Swim more regularly. Review: Not too frequent but definitely more regular.
  4. Read more books (or e-books). Specifically literary classics but maybe I’ll throw in a contemporary book. Maybe also one in French. Review: I read all the currently published books of the Song of Ice and Fire series as well as Steve Job’s biography.
  5. Take cooking or dance classes maybe with Michelle.
  6. Take advanced photography classes.
  7. Go on another road trip. Revisiting Pagudpud would be nice but I’m open to another place. Review: I’m sort of cheating here. Michelle, Jeanne, and I went to Hong Kong. It was not a road trip but it was an adventure. And that’s the main point, right?
  8. Go surfing in La Union. I’ve been to Zambales and I want to try another place.
  9. Go hiking and camping in one trip.

I intend to continue those that I was able to accomplish but it looks like I’ll carry over most:

  1. Declutter, or attempt to, the house. I’ll need two shelves for starters.
  2. Take cooking or dance classes maybe with Michelle.
  3. Take advanced photography classes.
  4. Go surfing in La Union or some other surfing destination. I’ve been to Zambales and I want to try another place.
  5. Go hiking and camping in one trip.
  6. Be closer to family. Fix my marriage for starters. Attend family events. Talk with the members of the family.
  7. Be closer to God. Attend mass regularly, reflect and pray regularly.

Hopefully I’ll do better this year.

Gratitude Journal

This morning, I read this about gratitude journals:

“A gratitude journal is a blank notebook where you write lists of things for which you are grateful. Every night, before you go to bed, you take about three minutes to write down a list of five things. (Or any do-able number.) Some days, you might be feeling particularly abundant, and those five things just fly onto the page. Some days, it might feel like you can’t think of even two things. That’s when you remember how amazing it is that you even have a roof over your head or food to eat. That’s when you remember your cat (again) and the fact that you have hot water for a bath. No matter what you’re feeling, you find time to write down these five things every single night without fail. And they don’t always have to be new and different.

It helps by making you be aware of the things that you are thankful for, the blessings, the things you write about on the journal at the end of each day. It cultivates and enforces an everyday positive attitude. That’s good, right? So I’ve decided to start one. I’ll probably get a real notebook and pen for the therapeutic tactile feedback but for now, I’ll start here:

  1. I’m thankful for my family, my mom, my dad, my siblings, my aunt, my uncle, my cousins, and their kids. Their advice and words of comfort helped me greatly. And their presence especially during New Year’s Eve, was heart-warming.
  2. I’m thankful for my friends especially Erwin, Crissy, and Val, who offered me their support.
  3. I’m thankful for my in-laws for their acceptance and understanding. For giving me advice. And for letting me visit Jeanne.
  4. I’m thankful for Gretchen who decided to stay for a while longer and wait with me. She makes the house less empty.
  5. I’m thankful for Jeanne who welcomed me warmly when I visited her. She showed me what to love with the heart of a child means.
  6. Today, I’m thankful for Michelle finally talking to me. I know she’s still hurting and it took a lot of effort on her part. There’s a long way to go with no end yet in sight but it’s a step forward.

Happiest and Worst Jobs

I was browsing through the Forbes when I read these two articles about the ten worst jobs and ten happiest jobs. The ten worst jobs are:

  1. Director of Information Technology
  2. Director of Sales and Marketing
  3. Product Manager
  4. Senior Web Developer
  5. Technical Specialist
  6. Electronics Technician
  7. Law Clerk
  8. Technical Support Analyst
  9. CNC Machinist
  10. Marketing Manager

Director of Information Technology, a job on my current career plan, is at the top. Not good.

And the ten happiest jobs are:

  1. Clergy
  2. Firefighters
  3. Physical therapists
  4. Authors
  5. Special education teachers
  6. Teachers
  7. Artists
  8. Psychologists
  9. Financial services sales agents
  10. Operating engineers

It may be too late for me to become clergy but author or teacher (I’ve actually taught before) seem feasible. Hmmm.